![]() ![]() I was scared-of both the future and of what the past had already done to me. However, the guilt at thinking such a thing, that I was somehow betraying the commitment that I had made to my deceased wife, still ate at me. I wanted to be with someone who cared for me, and I for her. I would see couples embrace, and I would yearn for the same. I would see couples holding hands, and I would be jealous. I just could not force myself to take the first step in this direction. I wanted to be loved, and to love, but I was scared and I also felt guilty feeling these thoughts, although I realized that they were all rational. ![]() There was always something new to explore, a new pose to assume.īut I still ached for close human contact. ![]() I never knew from one day to the next what type of trouble the little guy would get himself into. When I finally happened, I just knew that I had to put my story to words. I also knew that my deceased wife would want this from me. Years after my first wife died, lonely as could be, I decided to see if I could find love again. He lives in Southern California wine country with his wife, Kitty, and their two adorable rescue cats. Michael Meyer is a retired English professor. ![]()
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